posted 19th January 2025
So I got called a loser the other day, albeit as a joke.
And it got me to thinking about words, and how they are used to target our confidence.
I recognised that having words used against us, regardless of whether they are a joke or said with intent, still have an effect. Now, I'm not saying that we should roll over and take the words used against us or be insulted every time someone calls us a name - that may be taking it a tad too far. But we should definitely be questioning it.
Because words have impact, that's why we use them. But let me tell you the best thing that came from this. I used the word to actually work out what was happening for me, and subsequently found my power. Here's the context..
So the reason why I was called a loser was because I was crying whilst watching the part of Wicked where Elphaba sees herself as a child as she is falling, and recognises that her younger self is saving her. I have worked quite a bit on this during my own therapy journey. Mainly around myself saving my younger self, however after delving into it, working out that actually it is my younger self that has been saving me.
Deep right?! Now can you see why I was crying? Hahaha!
So now that you know the back story, I want to take you to the next stage, which is that these weren't tears of sadness, these were tears of confidence. I made that connection with this character that saw her finding her confidence within herself. I have managed to find the confidence in myself.
Drawing on all my previous selves and the journeys that they have been on to get me here, to where I am today. They were tears of pride, proud of myself that I have managed to work out how to save myself. How to be there for myself and how to be my own cheerleader. Tears of relief, that this character was a reflection of me, and if it was a reflection of me, imagine how many other people it has been a reflection for. The relief that we can start showing up authentically and not have to be apologetic for it.
The confidence, the pride and the relief that we have when we look inwards is essential. And it starts with the words that we use, or have used against us. Question them. Question the words. Needless to say, we don't need that kind of "loser" energy, but if I hadn't of questioned why I am the loser, than I wouldn't have been reminded just how far I have come.
But what I really want to get across is that as much as we shouldn't believe in these derogatory words that are used against us, we should definitely use them to our advantage. Turn them around and question them. Why? Because once you start questioning the power of something negative, it automatically starts to lose the amount of power it has. You reverse the power roles. You become the confident one, the powerful one.
Just for the record, there is no loser in this situation - just me. A winner.