My Story
Where to start? Well, I'll introduce myself first - I'm Dom and thank you so much for stopping by. I hope that, if you haven't found it already, you find your safe space here.
I am a Londoner, born and bred, and have lived there for most of my life - except a quick 6-month visit to Australia, and a whirlwind three years of university in Wales.
I established myself as a coach back in 2019, after making the decision to train in something that I knew I had always wanted to do, but it wasn't until it manifested itself in that way that I realised just how rewarding it would be.
I have lived a somewhat colourful life - which you will most likely read in-depth through my blog and social profiles. But to give those first-time visitors the back story, I came out when I was 16 and I am a proud gay man. I grew up without a father and am the glorious product of a single parent family, who has an inspirational and unequivocally strong woman for a mother. Someone who taught me that we are all equal no matter how we identify or what we do.
But things have not been easy...
For many years, I struggled with my identity, my personality, my self-belief, my self-worth and my self-talk. I struggled with my sexuality, what I looked like, I cared about other people's perceptions and opinions of me. I chipped away at my own confidence, not realising that I was doing it. Then in 2012, as if life had not dealt me and my family enough blows, my sister passed away after an 11-year battle with cancer, at the age of 27.
The How and The Why
Years later, I am now a life coach, a volunteer bereavement support worker and a peer support facilitator for an amazing charity that supports LGBTQ+ cancer patients.
And I'm on a mission.
To help people who want to refocus the direction of their life. To help people find their confidence. To show people that they can be whoever they want to be both in and out of the queer community. To help people get excited and motivated about the next steps in their lives!!
I went through years of pain, torment and hurt. But I also went through years of laughter, joy and jubilation. I have met some incredible people, said goodbye to some who have left a lesson to be learnt, which I will always be grateful for, and through it all I discovered the most amazing person - me.
I have been to therapy, I have talked about my feelings, written them down. Learnt from who I am. I have also invested in coaching to help me. There was a huge disconnect with me and the gay community, however I know why this is now and I can use this power to help me work with the queer community and embrace it for everything that it is.
I worked out that if I felt like this then someone else was bound to feel like this as well. Especially after losing my sister. I remember feeling lonely when my sister died. I didn't realise I was so lonely for so long, however I was. And that was ok, but it was being ok with being ok. The people that I met along the way allowed me to come to terms with that.
So, I became a transformational coach because I believe in the power that each individual has, but sometimes this power needs a bit of coaching out of us.
I know that this is what I'm supposed to do. I'm too emotional about this. I'm too empowered by it.
I went through some of the worst experiences and traumatic experiences of my life to just let this go by. I went through everything for a reason and that reason is to help people feel as confident as they can.
I know me. And I know the power that I can harness through what I do. I want to make you feel comfortable in your own skin in situations where you don't feel comfortable and confident right now. I want to fight for those who want to fight for themselves.
Coaching & The LGBTQIA+ Community
I remember when I came out, I was so terrified. For some the narrative is very different, but this is how it went for me...
There is a moment where you just don't know.
The build up to it is almost that you kind of know how people will react to it, however you're never too sure. But the final moment where you just don't know, is just when you are about to utter those words. You have no idea how people are going to deal with it and you don't know what is going to be left once you have said it.
Dynamics change, relationships change, and people's opinions change. The life that we spent building up until that point disappears in a split second. And then you have to deal with the aftermath, what happens next. And you don't know what that is going to be like, either.
This person that you have been hiding is now not in hiding anymore.
For me it felt very much like I had no idea who I was supposed to be now. I had spent so long living this lie that all of a sudden, I had no clue who to be outside of the lie.
To solve this, to have that idea of who you want to be and to know that person can actually confidently be in society is the goal. Not having to hide or be subjected to conditions. It feels sometimes that being authentically gay is conditional, when really it should be unconditional.
In a world where you can be whoever you want to be, we still feel ourselves extremely limited.
In my experience, and conversations that I have had with gay men, many feel that as soon as they come out they have to fit into a certain group to belong. These groups are based on roles, looks and stereotypes that have been created by social and media influences. Bisexual people are often told that they are greedy, unable to make up their mind. Lesbians are regularly vilified and objectified by some straight men and again assumed to be something they may not be. Trans people are still fighting for the same human rights that we all currently have.
You end up becoming someone that you are almost happy to become but who is not actually you. Some miss out on a large chunk of their life because they ended up becoming someone that they weren't meant to be, however it's who you are now. And its processing that and establishing how it all fits into your life. It's actually sitting there and manifesting those feelings and unpacking them. Becoming that confident you.
To be comfortable within our own skin. To be who we truly are whether that be in the workplace, in our personal life, or simply on the bus - that is the goal for so many.
I help you to get to that level. I help you to be your own person without the comparisons and pressures to identify in a specific way.
I want you to learn from your experience and actually figure out who you are and how you feel you can show up authentically, unapologetically and unconditionally.